How to really ask someone if they are okay – on RUOK Day and every day.

2 years into a global pandemic it’s fair to say that nearly everyone on the planet has been impacted – some more so than others. Checking in on someone who may be having their own mental health struggles can feel uncomfortable. You may feel like you are not equipped to support them. You may not want to pry.

Chances are that if you check in with someone now, before their issues become more distressing, you can make a big difference. If you are not sure how to ask, and not sure how to follow up, here are some tips that may help you have these conversations.

Chances are that if you check in with someone now, before their issues become more distressing, you can make a big difference. If you are not sure how to ask, and not sure how to follow up, here are some tips that may help you have these conversations.

Ask at the right time

Your question should be meaningful. It shouldn’t just be an aside or something off the cuff. You might organise a coffee, a walk or a phone call. Just make sure you have some serious time to have a deep conversation there. You don’t want to have to cut the conversation short if they really need to, or want to talk. If the person that you are worried about is not ready to talk now, don’t pressure them. But make sure you let them know you are there if they want to talk again in the future. 

Ask in the right way

When you make the approach, bring it up in a relaxed and friendly way. You need to make sure that you don’t pressure the person that you are talking to. You can ask in a very casual away – something like “I haven’t seen much of you lately, is everything going ok?” or “You’ve been a bit tired, how are things going?”

Listen with an open mind

Once you have asked the question you need to sit back an listen. You can often get the urge to “problem solve” issues that arise but it’s not appropriate to do so just yet. Don’t interrupt, just let them speak. Ask for clarification if you need to. 

Empower them to take action

Chances are that if you are reading this article you are not a mental health professional. As such it’s not up to you to solve their problems. You may want to encourage them to take action and empower them to do so. Encourage action through questions like the following: 


– Where do you think we can go from here?

– What do you need from me? How can I help?

– Have you thought about going to see your GP?

Check in at a later date

 After your conversation, let the person you are talking to know that you will check in again after a few days (and make sure you do.) It can be as simple as asking them how they are feeling since you last spoke and what actions they have taken for their own self care. If they haven’t been able to do anything since you last spoke don’t berate them. Be patient. 

If you need to talk to someone, please reach out to us. We are always here for a friendly ear in your time of need. So if you’re not feeling OK today, tomorrow, or next month, feel free to give us a call whenever you need. We’re always here to listen and help in any way we can.

Disclaimer: The content of this article is general in nature and is presented for informative purposes. It is not intended to constitute tax or financial advice, whether general or personal nor is it intended to imply any recommendation or opinion about a financial product. It does not take into consideration your personal situation and may not be relevant to circumstances. Before taking any action, consider your own particular circumstances and seek professional advice. This content is protected by copyright laws and various other intellectual property laws. It is not to be modified, reproduced or republished without prior written consent.

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Will Bell Mortgage Broker
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00:45 19 Nov 21
Will did an amazing job in restructuring multiple investment loans for me. It greatly reduced repayments and released some equity as well.Thanks for all your hard work!
Harsha Jayaratne
Harsha Jayaratne
10:19 21 Sep 21
It is pleasure to work with always keep you informed and prompt service.
Jen Furlong
Jen Furlong
00:51 21 Sep 21
Will was an absolute pleasure to deal with and made the process of obtaining a mortgage very easy.
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Thanks Will for helping me! Great service!
Imogen Armstrong
Imogen Armstrong
03:11 13 Aug 21
Will is a legend!!!! So helpful, explains everything well, couldn’t speak more highly of him!! Definitely recommend!
Brooke Ware
Brooke Ware
06:10 10 May 21
Will was recommended to me by our real estate and he has been amazing to deal with. He is very responsive with messages and calls and also gives you his honest opinion of what deal is best suited.Definitely looks out for the best interest of his clients....would highly recommend going through Will.Doesn't matter how many questions I had he always talked me through anything I needed.
Sarah H
Sarah H
03:36 06 May 21
Will was recommended to me by my co worker and I was a little sceptical that I would find a broker that could help me in my situation. I’m a single mum of 2 teenagers and have been told previously that I could only borrow a small amount...not enough to purchase a home, even though my salary is quite good and I’m able to service a loan.Will went above and beyond my expectations, he was prompt with initial contact, made me feel like nothing was ever a problem, reassured me that he could help me purchase a brand new home. The whole experience was simple, stress free and fast. Will has a very calming presence and is always smiling, which was very reassuring for me in a stressful time of my life. Thanks so much Will, I will definitely recommend you to everyone I know!
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